"you're very droll"

Oh man I need to re-design this blog... it's pretty terrible.

And yet another foray into the horrors of waitressing. Tuesday I was training on a double with the intention of being on the floor for real, that is, making actual money on Thursday (today) when...

A five top orders three martinis and two other cocktails, I try to carry the tray with like, everyone including the manager and the crazy Argentinian owner breathing down my neck. Shit starts spilling everywhere of course. I get cut five minutes later with tears welling up in my eyes.

Manager is actually a pretty cool guy and tried to soften the blow of the implied "you aren't cut out for dinner service". Fucking atrophied muscle in my left arm from being a stupid 20 year old ruining my life still.

I went home and cried about it for a good forty minutes with Alex via skpye. I mean, I was crying and he was listening.


On the drive home I see for the THIRD time in a week the only ex that I actually have any malicious feelings for as he is a complete sociopath asshole. Keep in mind I haven't had to see this guy at all except briefly riding his bike on one occasion like half a year ago or something... So yeah, seeing him gayly riding his bike alongside a cute girl running with her dog was a bit more than I could handle in my state, and it took everything that I had within me not to yell out factual statements in an attempt to deter that poor girl from falling into one of his snares. This is not jealousy btw... It's really like a good samaritain type thing. I mean, I don't want anyone else to get fucked over by this guy, and he deserves nothing but pain and suffering.

So that night I went out and did what I do best- drink when I feel sad or inferior.

Then who do I see but another ex, Chris. A cordial conversation followed and I think that my genuine disinterest came across pretty clearly, and maybe even made him a little interested? I don't know. Who cares anyway, I'm on my way out of here so soon that the fleeting unimportance of practically every encounter that I've had lately is astonishing. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. It is also a skill that I do not possess.