Linda Blair

Today marks two weeks here in France with this, my new family, my new life...

Yesterday was the first day I have had off since I arrived.

Don't get me wrong! Things here are lovely about 80% of the time, which by my calculations is pretty damn good for this type of situation. Nothing is ever perfect, and when you essentially trust complete strangers with a year of your life to be welcomed as I have and treated as well as I have is truly a blessing.

My typical day begins at 7:30 when I wake up, do my morning push ups, take a shower, drink coffee and maybe do my makeup. I get the two youngest kids up no later thank 8:00, dress them, get them breakfast, make sure they have a snack for school etc... This usually involves a fair amount of screaming and or flailing from the three year old who really seems to have it out for me. I swear this girl sometimes... I have never met a child that was so adept at physically escaping any situation where even a little bit of force is required. She makes her body go limp and moves her limbs around in such a manner that makes her literally impossible to keep a grip on. It's really something else.

After the kids are ready and fed I walk them to the école which is about two blocks away and go on my merry way until they return around 5. Lundi, Mardi, Vendredi, Jeudi I have the hours between 9 and 5 pm more or less to myself, and in that time I will aid in the constant stream of laundry- putting loads in, taking loads out, folding folding folding, and the same goes for the dishes which never end either. So it goes in such a large family, and to be honest, at least they have a dishwasher!

During my free time I love to ride my bike. I bought a used Bianchi road/racing bike in really great order. It's a little weird getting used to the new geometry, and in all honesty it's a bit large for me, but not terrible to ride. It's FAST. I don't know whether it's the overwhelming beauty and solitude of the countryside, or the fact that my bike rides are more or less the only thing that is totally and completely MINE, but I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed riding a bike more in my life. Although French drivers do scare the shit out of me.

Mardi I also have my language class which I look forward to all week. Two hours of only French speaking!!! And my teacher is a doll. Yesterday she let me bitch for like 20 minutes about what was bothering me around here and gave me some very French advice. She's lovely. I do get the sense, however that this specific course is pretty much souly aimed towards English ex-pats who emigrate here after retirement and are required to learn the language. Consequently, my two classmates are in their 70's so, not exactly my cup of tea. Pun very, very intended.

I was informed at dinner tonight that the littlest one, the linda blair one has really upped the crazy since I've been here. Superb.

Around 16.45 or so I walk to the école to pick up the three youngest kids. When we get back to the house I fix them a drink, maybe a snack and play with them for about and hour or more until dinner.

Dinner is usually a mix of broken French on the side of the mother and I, lighting fast "courant" french from the kids, that I frankly can't understand for the life of me half the time, and of course, Dutch. Oddly enough, It has gotten to the point already where I can understand a fair amount of Dutch, but still not enough to be able to decipher what the hell anyone is really talking about.

Dinner is usually pretty tortuous as the littlest one screams and yells and gets out of her seat and generally makes it very unpleasant for everyone involved. I suggested two things to remedy this situation- Threaten the youngest with having to eat alone in the hall at her play table, and two giving every member of the family about 5 minutes or so to recount their day, so that everyone has a chance to be heard. So far, the adoption of these two tactics to control little Linda's behavior have been my biggest triumphs here.

After dinner, we all help clear the table and the next battle commences- Bath and bed for the little ones. So far it has varied from actually pretty pleasant to downright insupportable... But we're getting there. After that I am technically "off" so I generally retreat to my room and talk to friends on Skype or mess around on the interwebs.

So thats about it for the daily routine so far. Stay tuned for humorous anecdotes and potentially inspirational snippets of my life in the South of France.

le sentiment maladroit quand...

You realize that you have been walking on eggshells for 26 years.

I left Cleveland on time, Wednesday September 11 at 1:35. Around 16 hours later I was on my way to my home for the next year in the French countryside of Gers with a lovely Dutch lady and three children in tow. And here I am now, only four days into my adventure and I have never felt more at ease, more comfortable, more myself.

I knew upfront that this would not be your ordinary au pair arrangement for numerous reasons... A Dutch and not French family, the father's irregular schedule, the five children, the remote location etc... but what I didn't know was that somehow, one quarter of the way around the world I would find myself wo welcomed, accepted and appreciated. That the mother and father and I would talk for hours on end about topics any typical american, or even some Europeans would deem taboo. (The Dutch are known for their non-judgemental nature.)

I never thought that I could be as completely honest with people that I am still getting to know with absolutely no fear of being judged, dejected or risk losing my job. It's so refreshing. It's more than that though, but I just don't have the words to accurately describe how truly happy I am for the first time in my life.

It's a difficult realization, and I'm struggling a little bit to make sense of my familial relations back home from this new position. Of course I love my family dearly. But I guess I have just become so accustomed to negative comments and what I believe to be an extremely unhealthy grip on the past that pervades seemingly the most minute of situations that simple things like hearing that I am a fast learner, or that a dish that I made tasted good just mean the world to me. Above all this family seems to really appreciate me- and not the "me" that I think people in my family or the whole of America want to see, but the me that has for one reason or another repelled practically everyone I have ever met.

And here I thought I was going crazy all this time.

According to the mom and dad I am really more European than American, and aside from that being what I consider to be one of the highest compliments I have yet received... Things are finally beginning to make sense.

Anyway, here are my new digs. More pictures to come as they become available.

voyage dans le temps

Well it's been an interesting few weeks. I haven't really had anything of note to say. Feelings of general detachement have more or less subsided and gotten me to this point...

In less than 72 hours I will be aboard a plane to France.

I will finally be able to escape this city, these people, this past here that never seems to relent in rearing it's ugly head.

I've had ups and downs this month... but nothing really that profound. I guess if anything I am trying to take the positive with the negative and not reading to deeply into either.

When it comes right down to it, the only people left in this city that I care about are my direct family... the others have left Ohio entirely so the remaining population... well remains. Ha. That's all I really have to say about that.

There will be pictures and interesting stories and anecdotes to come. I am sure.

But for now, all I can say is Cleveland, I bid you adieu.